Why doing less is so much harder than over-doing it
We live in a culture that celebrates busyness. Productivity is practically a badge of honour, and slowing down can feel like failure. But for many of us, especially those recovering from chronic health conditions, this relentless push to “do more” often comes at a cost.
We live in a culture that celebrates busyness. Productivity is practically a badge of honour, and slowing down can feel like failure. But for many of us, especially those recovering from chronic health conditions, this relentless push to “do more” often comes at a cost.
I recently saw a client who brought this struggle into sharp focus. For the first time in 12 years, she had spent an entire day resting. No to-do list, no pushing through the exhaustion—just rest. Instead of feeling relief, though, she was devastated.
“I feel like I wasted the whole day,” she said, through tears.
Her body had been begging for rest for years. But like so many of us, she’d been taught to ignore those whispers. As a child, she’d been told, “If you’re not doing something, you’re being lazy.” The message stuck, shaping her identity around constant productivity.
For twelve years, she pushed on, silencing her body’s signals and piling task after task onto her to-do list. Until one day, her body said, “enough.” It screamed so loudly that she had no choice but to stop and rest.
But resting wasn’t the hardest part.
What Lies Beneath the Urge to Keep Going
As we got curious and explored why listening to her body was so hard, something became clear: her to-do list wasn’t just a collection of tasks. It was a coping mechanism - a way to avoid sitting with feelings she’d buried long ago.
Sadness. Loss. Anger.
These emotions had been packed away since childhood, when there was “no time” to feel them. Back then, she learned to distract herself by staying busy, ignoring the whispers of her emotions. Over time, the busyness became her armour, a way to avoid discomfort.
But here’s the thing about feelings: they don’t disappear. They wait patiently, showing up in different forms, like exhaustion, chronic pain, or illness, until we pay attention.
Why It’s Easier to Push Through Than to Pause
Us humans are wired to avoid pain, whether physical or emotional. In fact, some of us would rather endure physical pain than sit with uncomfortable feelings. For the fitness fans out there do you ever notice how a bad day can send you running to the gym, pounding out the frustration on a treadmill, chasing that PB? It’s not just about the workout; it’s about the distraction from the feelings beneath.
The truth is, learning to slow down - to sit with ourselves and really feel - is one of the hardest things we can do. But it’s also one of the most healing.
Rest Is Not Wasted Time
For my client, rest felt unbearable because it challenged her lifelong belief that her worth was tied to her productivity. But as we peeled back the layers, something beautiful emerged: she began to see rest not as laziness, but as an act of self-care.
She started to understand that her body wasn’t betraying her - it was protecting her. By forcing her to rest, it was giving her the space to reconnect with herself, to acknowledge the emotions she’d been carrying for years, and to start releasing them.
Sitting with the truth…
If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, you’re not alone. Many of us have been taught to value ‘doing’ over ‘being’, achievement over self-compassion. But healing, whether from chronic illness, burnout, or emotional pain, requires a different approach.
Rest is not a sign of failure. It’s a radical act of self-love.
Listening to your body’s needs isn’t indulgent; it’s essential.
So next time your body whispers for rest, pause. Breathe. Get curious. What’s underneath the urge to keep going? What feelings have been waiting for you to slow down and listen?
Your body knows the way. All you need to do is trust it – and that’s a process we can practice in small ways every day.
If you have ever struggled with resting – you’re not alone. Get in touch. Sometimes we need support. That too is okay.