Positive Intelligence: Why It’s Not Toxic Positivity

When people hear about Positive Intelligence (PQ), they sometimes mistake it for toxic positivity, that "good vibes only" mindset that dismisses real emotions and pressures you to stay cheerful no matter what. But PQ is not about ignoring life's challenges or slapping a smile on tough times. Instead, it's about building mental fitness so that your mind works for you, not against you.

Toxic positivity tells you to deny or suppress difficult emotions. PQ, on the other hand, encourages you to acknowledge all your feelings, even the hard ones, while developing the skills to respond with curiosity, resilience, and self-compassion. It's about balance, not blind optimism.

So, What Is PQ Anyway?

PQ, or Positive Intelligence Quotient, is a measure of how effectively your mind supports you rather than sabotages you. It reflects the balance between your calm, wise inner self and the inner critics - those voices of fear, self-doubt, and judgment. A high PQ helps you navigate stress, setbacks, and challenges with a growth mindset instead of getting stuck in negative thought loops.

How PQ Impacts Your Career, Happiness, and Stress Levels

Our PQ influences almost every area of life, from how we respond to a tough day at work to how we bounce back from personal challenges. Here’s how it plays out in key areas:

• Career: A strong PQ helps you manage workplace pressure, stay motivated, and recover from setbacks. It gives you the confidence to take risks, adapt to change, and see challenges as opportunities to grow rather than threats to avoid.
• Happiness: The higher your PQ, the less power your inner critic has. This makes it easier to be self-compassionate, resilient, and present—all essential ingredients for a happier, more fulfilling life.
• Stress Levels: A low PQ often means more stress, overwhelm, and patterns of perfectionism or self-criticism. A high PQ helps you shift your perspective, celebrate progress (not just perfection), and manage life’s demands with greater ease.

Small Steps to Raise Your PQ

The good news? PQ isn’t fixed! You can strengthen it with practice. Here are a few ways to get started:

1. Celebrate the Small Wins: Each day, take a moment to acknowledge something you did well, no matter how small. Maybe you spoke up in a meeting, paused before reacting, or gave yourself permission to rest for 15 minutes. Small wins rewire your brain to notice everyday glimmers of success, which boosts motivation and resilience.
2. Tame Your Inner Critic: Pay attention to when self-doubt, criticism, or perfectionism creep in. That voice saying, "You can't do it" or "You're not good enough"? That’s your saboteur talking. Get curious. Ask yourself, "Is this thought helpful? Would I say this to a friend?" If not, respond with kindness and a firm, "Not today, thanks!"
3. Practice Mindfulness and Breathwork: Mindfulness helps you stay grounded when your mind spins into negativity. Take a minute to focus on your breath. Place a hand on your chest or belly, notice the sensations of breathing, and give your nervous system a moment to settle.
4. Reframe Challenges: Shift from "I can’t do this" to "What can I learn from this?" or "How might this help me grow?" Reframing doesn’t erase difficulties; it helps you approach them with curiosity and resourcefulness.
5. Limit Negativity: Constant exposure to negative news or draining conversations can lower your PQ. Take breaks from scrolling, and instead, seek out people, books, and environments that inspire you.

Life's Challenges: PQ's Biggest Tests

Life inevitably throws curveballs, and some challenges can really test your PQ:

• Workplace Stress and Burnout: High-pressure environments, difficult colleagues, or lack of recognition can trigger self-doubt. Building PQ helps you stay grounded and confident.
• Illness and Loss: Health struggles or the loss of a loved one can shake your foundations. PQ doesn’t mean suppressing grief; it helps you stay present with your feelings while finding the strength to move forward.
• Rejection: Whether it's in relationships, work, or personal goals, rejection can activate that "not good enough" voice. PQ supports you in learning from setbacks instead of internalising them.
• Childhood Trauma: Early life experiences often shape our inner dialogue. Working with a therapist can help reframe deeply rooted self-beliefs and foster a healthier, more compassionate inner voice.

Are Women More Likely to Self-Sabotage?

Research suggests women may be more prone to self-sabotage due to societal conditioning and higher rates of imposter syndrome. From an early age, many women are taught to doubt themselves, downplay achievements, and prioritise others' needs. This can lead to overworking, risk avoidance, and seeking external validation.

The good news? PQ is like a muscle - it strengthens with practice. By celebrating wins, challenging negative self-talk, and prioritising self-care, anyone can increase their Positive Intelligence and build a more supportive, resilient mindset.

Remember: PQ doesn’t mean pretending life is easy. It means equipping yourself with the tools to handle life’s inevitable challenges with grace, courage, and self-compassion. And that’s a lot more powerful than a "good vibes only" sticker on your laptop.